By Evan Ackerman
It’s about bloody time somebody recognized the hundreds, nay, thousands of years of suffering that my people (that would be, left-handed people) have dealt with. Finally, Razer has designed a mouse specifically for us. This lefty version of their DeathAdder gaming mouse has the same slick and subtle curves that the right-handed version does, just reflected over to the sinister side. And that’s sinister as in left, not sinister as in ‘sinister.’ Honestly, there’s no need to be afraid of left-handed people… Here are some left-handed facts to get you better acquainted with us:
-Somewhere between 8% and 15% of people are left-handed, and only half as many women are left-handed as men.
-The Incas thought that left-handed people had special spiritual powers. Pretty much everyone else thought that left-handed people were either just unfortunate, or pure evil.
-Left-handed people tend to be smarter than average. They also tend to be dumber than average. In other words, lefties are more likely to be at one end of the spectrum than in the middle.
-On average, left-handed men who graduate college are 26% richer than right-handed men who do. Nobody knows why, and this doesn’t apply to women.
-50% of left-handed people use a mouse right-handed (and I’m one of them).
You want to know why 50% of left-handed people use a mouse right-handed? It’s the man, man. The establishment. The right-handed industrial complex. So thank you, Razer, for helping us break free of the oppression and tyranny of the right-handed world… Who cares if nobody buys your mouse because we’re all used to right-handed ones? You’ve struck a mighty blow this day, a mighty blow for the forces of all that is just and good and right in this world!
Er, wait. Left, I meant left.
As far as specs go, the DeathAdder is more mouse than you’ll ever need (3500dpi Razer Precision 3.5G infrared sensor, five independently programmable “Hyperesponse” buttons, and it’s wired as all serious gaming mice are), and it’s yours for $60.