Virtual Girlfriend Cheerfully Squeals At Your Virtual Abuse

By Evan Ackerman

People say that only losers need a virtual girlfriend. Bah! How many girlfriends have you had who dressed up in furry outfits and let you smack them on the ass with a giant paddle with a heart on it? Yeah, only four for me, too. But when none of them are around, you need something to keep you, um, entertained, and that’s what Alice the virtual anime girlfriend is for.

Technically, Alice is “augmented reality” as opposed to “virtual,” the distinction being that she interacts directly with physical objects (like you). She exists inside your computer, but interacts with objects with special patterns on them as you move them around in front of your webcam:

Just so you know, Alice’s birthday is February 14th, and we’ll assume she’s a consenting adult although it’s implied that she’s a high school student. She’s about 5’3″ and weighs 106 pounds, and likes teddy bears and dancing and singing. Oh, yeah, and she’s actually from 2025 but traveled to 2008 through a space-time distortion.

Alice can be all yours for about $100 from

[ Alice AR Figure (Translated) ] VIA [ Geekologie ]

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