Personal Urns Are Guaranteed To Creep You Out


By Chris Scott Barr

There’s a funny little thing that my brother and I like to tell our parents when they’re being particularly nerve-wracking these days. We kindly remind them that we’ll be the ones that pick out their nursing home, so they should be nice. Yes, we always say it in a joking manner, and we can only get away with it because grounding doesn’t work when you’re in your 20’s and live in your own house. This train of thought has always made me wonder how I can have the last laugh on my kids when my time is finally up. Well let’s just say if they stick me in some crappy nursing home, I know exactly what my final wish will be.

What better way to creep someone out than to request that your ashes be contained in an Urn that looks exactly like your head? Well thanks to the Personal Urn, this creepy joke from beyond the grave can be pulled off quite effectively. The company will take a full 3D image of the person’s head (postmortem) and then it will be printed off using the latest 3D printing technology. Just make the proper arrangements before you go, and will one to each of your children. Make sure to specify that you want it kept on their mantle with a bit of your ashes inside. There’s no way that they could bring themselves to disobey your last wishes, even if it is really creepy. But then they should have thought about that when they stuffed you in that crummy nursing home straight out of Happy Gilmore.

Okay, I wouldn’t actually do anything that mean to my future kids. I would consider having one of these made for my personal use. I mean, who’s going to steal cookies from a cookie jar that looks just like my head? Sure, $2,600 is a lot for a creepy cookie jar. But it would make for one hell of a conversation piece.

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