Headtime Will Massage Your Scalp, Eat Your Brain

Headtime Will Massage Your Scalp, Eat Your Brain

headthing

By Evan Ackerman

This thing? This thing scares me. This is a problem, since it’s supposed to be relieving stress as opposed to causing stress. Seriously. It’s a stress relieving device that looks suspiciously like the mouth of a lamprey, which, in case you didn’t know, is a fish that bores into your flesh and sucks your blood out. The Headtime scalp massager features 29 silicon balls, 34 ceramic balls, LED lighting, temperature control, and an internal speaker system that plays soothing nature sounds. You wear it on your head like a hat and pretend that it doesn’t make you look like this guy:

headthing2

“Hey honey, look at me and my new hat! I’ve got 63 balls massaging my scalp right now!” “Take that thing off and kill it with fire before I jam this toothbrush into your eye socket, you stupid idiot.”

No word on price or availability, and here’s hoping it stays that way.

[ Headtime ] VIA [ AVING ]

7 thoughts on “Headtime Will Massage Your Scalp, Eat Your Brain”

  1. Imagine someone slipping this thing on your head while you're asleep. Prank-o-rama!

    Actually, it could be a multitasker! Motorcycle helmet! Hmm? Huh? Anyone? Bueller?

  2. As long as it feels good, who cares what it looks like. I doubt it's meant to be worn outside. Nor is it suppose to be a new fashion statement.

  3. The pictures on the website make it look like it is made to be worn outside and everywhere. The spikes on the massage pads look like they would lead to extreme scalp irritation, though. And hair snags, that is a horror I wouldn't curse on anyone.

  4. The pictures on the website make it look like it is made to be worn outside and everywhere. The spikes on the massage pads look like they would lead to extreme scalp irritation, though. And hair snags, that is a horror I wouldn't curse on anyone.

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