By Luke Anderson

I love to eat cake. I rarely make one myself, as I know that I’m likely to eat most of if myself. Any time I’m at my in-laws and there is cake, I usually have to fight my brother-in-law over the last two slices of cake. We usually argue that the other had the bigger piece and so on. Now if only we had a Fair Share Cake Plate, there would be no need to complain.

The Fair Share Cake Plate is a novelty plate that has measurements along its edge marking down to the millimeter. With this plate,you can make sure that you get everyone’s piece the right size. The plate is a bit salty at $43.50, so I think I can deal with arguing over the bigger piece.

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6 COMMENTS

  1. I note the total lack of a nonius or vernier scale. (The plate is marked in degrees, not millimeters by the way.) They call that fair? A 360th of the cake! What kind of precision is that?

    Besides, the cake’s a little thinner on my side. How very convenient for you. What’s the formula to compensate for that? And has it been approved by the international committee of cake ethics?

    Now don’t give me your “let’s just weigh the pieces” idea again. Can’t you see it’s a marble cake? You’ll have all the good chocolate parts again, and all I get is dry and crumbly bits. No way.

    I demand we do an MRI scan to calculate the spatial integral of the distribution of cocoa solids. What, you don’t have an MRI scanner? Okay, go and make arrangements to rent one. Meanwhile I will watch the cake.

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