Now here’s a match made in heaven. The Cal Flame G5000 from Cal Spas combines a cocktail table with a firepit on the inside, making cleanup as easy as pushing all your trash, uneaten food and whatever else you don’t feel like cleaning up into the center where it will get incinerated. Genius!! Of course convenience like this comes at a price, $6,900 to be exact, but think to yourself, would you rather have almost $7,000 in your pocket or would you rather have to do the dishes every night? I think the answer is pretty clear.

[ Cal Flame G5000 ] VIA [ Born Rich ]

Whether you’re looking for some calming white noise to help you drift off to sleep at night, or you just moved to the desert and desperately miss the sound of falling rain, this unique piece of vinyl should fill that void in your life. On one side of the endless rain record you’ll find a long track of, you guessed it, falling rain, while the other side features looped grooves that play a continuous stream of more distinct rain drops. $39 from the designboom shop, or free if you just move to a rainforest.

[ Endless Rain Record ] VIA [ Better Living Through Design ]

By Evan Ackerman

If I had a shirt like this, I’m sure I’d be happy as this strange looking boy is. Totally Absurd Inventions insists that this is an actual US patent, although I haven’t been able to find it on the USPTO website, so I can’t do much besides relate what they say about it:

The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing.

The inventor suggests you can clean the Gerbil Shirt by attaching it to a faucet (remove pets first please), and you should avoid collisions and falls that could cause pet panic.

[ Patently Absurd ] VIA [ Neatorama ]

Back in August I brought you something called the ID Guard Stamp which was a run-of-the-mill ink stamp featuring a pattern of random characters allowing you to obfuscate private or important data before you disposed of a document. Well these Disney Eraser Rollers are essentially the same idea, with the cuteness dial cranked to eleven.

They come in a set of three featuring Stitch, Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh rollers, and when dragged across a document each one will leave a trail of Disney-themed advertising behind it, based on the character you’re using. I’d say it would be perfect for kids, but how much private data are they needing to hide on a daily basis? And the overly cute characters and ink trails seem out of place for even the most laid back of corporations. But the final nail in the coffin would have to be the set’s $68 price tag (plus $19 for shipping) from the Japan Trend Shop. Too rich for my blood and too cute for my cold heart.

[ Disney Eraser Rollers Set ]

Want to seriously stress out your co-workers? Be ‘that creepy guy’ in accounting who just hung up a photo that looks and sounds just like a ticking time bomb. But, upon closer examination they’ll find that the timer mechanism is an actual clock that isn’t counting down to any time in particular. Though something tells me security will still come a-knockin’ no matter how innocuous this really is. ~$34 from RED5.

[ Sumo Canvas Clock Bomb ] VIA [ Nerd Approved ]

Nothing goes better with the blues than random computer files, so the FlashHarp miniature harmonica includes a 4GB flash drive with a USB connector hanging off one end. It was actually created to provide a convenient way to deliver harmonica lesson videos for those wanting to learn to play, and it’s available from Etsy seller ‘BackyardBrand’ for $54.95.

[ Etsy - FlashHarp ] VIA [ Coolest Gadgets ]

It’s nice to see when innovations in science and technology trickle down to the grade school level where they can directly benefit students. No longer will hoodlums have to settle for Kleenex-based spit balls since they can now take advantage of advanced polymers to rain down terror on their fellow classmates. Available from Edmund Scientific for $4.95 a pack, these Spit Balls will grow to 200x their original size and according to the packaging will “Slip, Slide, Bounce & Explode” which are essential qualities when it comes to spit ball engineering.

[ Edmund Scientific - Spit Balls ] VIA [ Nerd Approved ]

Article courtesy of John Beck, from The Processor.

If you didn’t get invited to any good Halloween parties (or are just a complete misanthrope), then you might well be planning to spend Saturday night hunkered down behind the sofa with the lights off, hoping that sugar-crazed trick-or-treaters don’t suss you out and start making outrageous demands for confectionary and money in exchange for not smashing your windows or causing you actual bodily harm.

In case you do get rumbled, you may wish to follow Glenn Derene of Popular Mechanics’ lead and create some hi-tech surveillance pumpkins to capture the little darlings on tape while they ransack your house and/or break your legs.

Derene made himself two different video system sporting jack-o-lanterns - one with a cheapo infrared camera and receiver set and another with an Aavek Vue wireless camera system, which can be monitored remotely via a password protected website. Check out step by step instructions here. Take that you pesky kids!

[ PopularMechanics ]

To be perfectly honest I guess I really shouldn’t be that surprised that Walmart sells coffins and caskets on their website, but why are they listed under the ‘For the Home’ category? I’m pretty sure they have to be shipped directly to a funeral home, and in case you were wondering, they can’t accept a returned casket if it’s already been used due to FTC regulations. So forget about saving even more money on a refurb unit.

[ Walmart Caskets ] VIA [ Gear Diary ]

Epoch’s new Sound-Touch Pudding is supposed to be along the same lines as those keychain bubble-wrap simulators, but instead of popping plastic bubbles it lets kids enjoy the feeling of pudding, without getting their hands dirty. Yeah. Apparently my parents were mistaken when they thought pudding was a dessert, and not a toy. As an added bonus when you touch the pudding it triggers a cute female voice, which is another area where my childhood puddings were lacking. Anyways, if you want one you’ll probably have to head over to Japan or have them imported once they’re available on November 21 for about $7.

[ Sound-Touch Pudding ] VIA [ Japan Trends ]