By David Ponce

These have been around since forever and it doesn’t even look like you can buy them. Why post about them, then? Well, they’re cute as hell and it’s nice to know they exist. Also, I ate a bowl of estrogen this morning instead of my cereals and I’ve been acting funny all day.

Forgiveness is sought.

VIA [ BoingBoing ]

By David Ponce

Yeah, Japan again. We love you guys, but what’s with these things? The above image shows a poor lady being paid to demonstrate the Face Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece. You put it in there and say vowels repeatedly, allegedly exercising the muscles in your face and getting rid of wrinkles and sag.

But why does it have to… look like that? You and I know what this looks like. The kids don’t know. But we know what’s going on here.

So, Japan… Why?

Oh and it’s $84!

[ Product Page ] VIA [ ChipChick ]

By David Ponce

We have this Irish bar in town where they serve chicken wings covered in a sauce made from the Ghost Pepper, also known as the Bhut Jolokia. It’s the world’s hottest, so when you order these, you have to sign a waiver saying that you won’t, like, sue the place if something goes wrong. Really. So my friend tried them and within the first bite was running to the washroom in shock, where a waiter was already waiting with lots of milk. Once the pain died down a couple minutes later, he apologized for his reaction, at which point he was informed that he shouldn’t worry. Not only was this very normal, but many people actually vomit right at the table within the first bite. So, my friend’s reaction wasn’t that bad.

Keep this little anecdote in mind when you order Timmy’s Great Balls Of Fire. There’s Ghost Pepper powder inside. And they’re also coated with it. They are rated at over 1 million Scoville units. To put things in perspective, a Tabasco pepper (used in the sauce of the same name) rates around 30,000 to 50,000 Scoville units. And police grade perpperspray starts around 2 million, so these candies are getting close.

It’s $8 for 30 of them. Have fun. Carefully.

[ Product Page ]

By David Ponce

Remember how in the movie The Matrix, humans were used as energy sources by the machines? I personally thought the idea was inefficient; why not make batteries or something? But still, it appears that we are now the machines and have been able to rig a poor cockroach up with electrodes and squeeze out some measurable amount of electricity. “Maximum power density reached nearly 100 microwatts per square centimeter at 0.2 volts. Maximum current density was about 450 microamps per square centimeter.” It’s the chemical within the roach that power this particular reaction. And if you want the gritty details of how it was done, just hit the jump for a fuller description and links.

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By David Ponce

Do you like swearing? A lot? Are you British or do you wish you were? Do you have £50,000 burning a large hole in your pocket? Well, then… here’s just the thing for you.

Created in association with renowned artisans at Clay design studio, this exclusive piece of world-class art is basically a fully interactive periodic table of filth. Simply press any one of its 103 brightly coloured buttons and you’ll instantly hear the mellifluous tones of a mystery man uttering profanities, insults and highly innovative cusses.

I’m not sure how the asking price was arrived at, other than it appears to be handmade and contains over 300ft of cable and 300 soldered joints. Insults are arranged in order from light to heavy based on the periodic table’s classification for chemical reactivity, the heaviest being on the far left and the quaintest on the right, where the inert gases would usually go.

And it’s, once again, £50,000 or roughly $78,000 at today’s rate.

[ Product Page ]

By David Ponce

I’m sure Steve Jobs is rolling around in his grave now that this concept for a very tasteful iPad attachment is floating around on the Interwebs. Proving that you should never underestimate human ingenuity, this clip on piece of plastic holds a Fleshlight. Presumably, you’d have a companion application that would run on the screen and just like that you’d be copulating with… well, people, you’re hopefully old enough to figure out how this would work. Right?

Isn’t the picture above enough?

Anyway, it’s just a concept so there’s no actual such product. Yet.

I’m sad for mankind.

VIA [ Geekologie ]

By David Ponce

So… this exists. It’s a suit. And a pyjama. It… is this like a men’s version of a maid’s outfit? Like… is that what’s going on here? I hear some women like men in suits, so, uh… I mean, why else?

There’s no price or availability at the moment, but these have been sold in the past. It might just be a temporary stock interruption. I just thought it was interesting to know that this, like I said, even existed…

[ Product Page ] VIA [ LikeCool ]

By David Ponce

There are no gadgets here, but it’s an interesting story nonetheless. So it turns out one Dante Autullo from Orland Park, IL, was working in his garage one day when he lost his grip on his nail gun. It swung at him and bumped the side of his head. Dante examined the damage: a minor scratch. He even texted his wife a picture of the so-called scratch, so nonchalant was he about the incident. He popped a couple of Advils and went on his merry day. He drove his plow truck for 8 hours, took his kids to a play rehearsal and even took a nap before he finally figured something was wrong; at that point he had a headache and nausea. It was only once he got to the hospital that everything became clear.

The X-Rays (which Dante at first thought were a joke) showed the 3.5 inch nail firmly inside his brain. The flat part of the nail was resting right atop his skull, beneath the skin (which was why it looked like just a scratch), “as if it had been driven into a two-by-four.” He had to undergo surgery to remove the nail and as luck would have it, very little tissue damage occurred. Mr. Autullo is expected to be able to leave the hospital after spending a day with a nail in his brain with absolutely no loss of function at all.

For the record, do not try this at home.

VIA [ Geekosystem ] AND [ Chicago Tribune ]

By David Ponce

You can always count on Japan to come through with things like this. It’s called the “Rhythm Slim Chin Muscle Exercise – Beauty anti-aging face neck jaw pain gadget”. You put it under your chin, press down and hold for 10 seconds. Rest a bit and repeat the process for 3 minutes a day. It’ll work out the frontal part of your neck muscles and allegedly alleviate your aches and cramps while making your sagging skin recede.

I’m skeptical, and at $136 I think I’ll let someone else try it out.

[ Product Page ] VIA [ BookOfJoe ]