Take your cubicle wars past the archaic stage of just spitballs and elastic bands with John Austin’s book, Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction. It provides 35 different ways to effectively raid the office supply cabinet at work in order to protect your desk and all the innocent files who call it home.

Toy designer John Austin provides detailed, step-by-step instructions for each project, including materials and ammo lists, clear diagrams, and construction tips, for mayhem-loving MacGyvers. The 35 devices include catapults, slingshots, minibombs, darts, and combustion shooters. Build a tiny trebuchet from paper clips and a D-cell battery. Wrap a penny in a string of paper caps to create a surprisingly impressive “bomb.” Several of the projects even include variations where combatants mount laser pointer sights to their shooters to increase their accuracy.

~$12 from Amazon, office supplies not included.

[ Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction ] VIA [ Make ]

Punch cards and fingerprints are so passe, if you want your business to look like it’s on the cutting edge of security technology you need to install one of these facial recognition time attendance systems. Using a set of digital cameras that can even see in the dark (I assume that’s a ring of IR LEDs around the lenses) the CVJB-G107 will keep track of the comings and goings of your employees, or prevent or provide access to certain doors, using facial recognition technology that takes “a fraction of a second” to make a match. And since the dual cameras create a 3D image of each face in the database, the software can’t be tricked by simply holding a 2D photograph of someone up to the lens.

The system can be setup to recognize and log information like attendance, overtime and even late arrivals for up to 500 different employees, and records can be downloaded to a USB flash drive or accessed via TCP/IP when the console is connected to a network. The system also comes with software allowing you to easily organize and sort through the information contained in the logs (hopefully they’re Excel friendly too) and is available from Chinavasion for just over $480.

[ Facial Recognition Time Attendance System and Access Door Lock ]

Imagine you crossed your desk at work with one of those Razor scooters, I think the results would look something like this Mobile Desk which I absolutely want for my next trade show. It’s got a bicycle seat and a small tray for holding a laptop when you’re being productive, but each leg features a wheel allowing you to roll around the office without ever having to get up. Surprisingly there’s a two-seater version as well, but with a price tag of $1,000 I’m going to stick with the more affordable $500 single rider model.

[ Mobile Desk ] VIA [ 7Gadgets ]

By Chris Scott Barr

I’m one of those people that always wears socks. No, I don’t wear sandals with socks, I just don’t wear them at all. I’m generally happy with a nice pair of Chucks, regardless of the weather. This does mean that my feet are pretty white in comparison to my legs. That might be something that would bother some people, but I wouldn’t be one of them. If you’re more sensitive about the whiteness of your feet, there is a solution.

Apparently it is such a large issue to have white feet that someone decided to create a special device to tan them. Essentially, the Solafeet Foot Tanner is a box that blasts your feet with light. It will supposedly take only 5-10 days of using it for 15 minutes to get your feet to the desired color. If you’re really that worried about your feet, you’ll need to throw down $220 on this contraption.

[ Skymall ] VIA [ RGS ]

By Chris Scott Barr

Being the awesome internet sensation that I am, I don’t work in an office like many of you likely do. I’m rather thankful for this, as it means I don’t have to deal with annoying people all day. Of course, it does limit the amount of inter-office pranks that I can pull. Here is a wonderfully subtle one that I would love to use on someone.

I have worked in offices before, and some people tend to assume that all coffee mugs are community cups. In fact, they usually belong to someone that gets frustrated when theirs turns up missing. Well if you’re one of these people, just purchase a Surprise Mug and leave it near the coffee pot. The Surprise Mug looks like a nondescript white mug. However, on the bottom is a cute little message that either says “I’m a twat” or “office bitch”. Even if it doesn’t stop the person from using your stuff, it’ll be $8 well spent.

[ ThumbsUpUK ] VIA [ FoolishGadgets ]

The WMF1 is another one of those compact coffee machines that uses “coffee pads” to brew a single cup at a time, pretty much anywhere you’re willing to take it. But it manages to stand out from the crowd by oozing with style. While the machine itself is made of plastic, the included mug is made of porcelain and from what I can tell, given the shape of the cutout, that’s the only mug you’ll be able to use it with.

The water reservoir only holds enough H2O for a single cup of joe, which is a good thing since it means you’ll have to use fresh water each time, and the machine is only heating as much water as it needs to. Now I’m not entirely sure of the pricing details, but the WMF1 comes in a variety of different color schemes including the Kiwi model pictured above.

[ WMF1 Coffee Pad Machine ] VIA [ The Red Ferret Journal ]

By Chris Scott Barr

Did you ever have a teacher or parent that always yelled at you for slouching? Well as annoying as that person may have been, they were probably right in doing so. Poor posture can lead to back and neck issues later in life, which no one wants to deal with. Since it’s hard to remember not to do it and you can’t have someone nagging at you all day, here’s a device that can alert you instead.

The USB Posture Alert Reminder uses ultrasonic sensors to detect just how close you are to your computer. This allows it to see when you’re slouching so that it can alert you accordingly. Alerts can come in the way of red and blue LEDs, or even a chime when you start to slouch. If posture is important, this $24 USB gadget might just be worth the cash.

[ SourcingMap ]VIA [ UberGizmo ]

In an effort to improve the quality of their meetings, and to ensure they always ended on time, advertising agency Wieden+Kennedy’s London office commissioned ico design (in collaboration with Sidekick Studios) to create the Timetable. The table helps the participants better manage a meeting by making everyone aware of the passing time with a series of illuminated panels.

At the start of a meeting you twist a dial to set the desired amount of time, and as the meeting progresses the light-up panels, which each represent a tenth of the alloted time, will be switched off one by one. When all the panels are off, a polite voice will inform those in attendance that the meeting is now over, and while they don’t have to go home, they can’t stay here.

[ ico design - Timetable ] VIA [ LIMITEDHYPE ]

By Chris Scott Barr

Have you ever noticed how certain people can get out of work a bit easier than others? Take smokers for example, I’ve had several jobs where people were allowed to step outside for 10 minutes (several times per day) for smoke breaks. If you didn’t smoke, you worked while the smokers were out. Same goes for people with kids. Granted, they actually have a good reason for missing some work. But still, they can miss a few hours here and there when their kids have a doctor/dentist appointment.  Well if you’ve ever fancied skipping a few hours to be with your kids, without actually having children, here’s something to check out.

The Office Kid is a little kit you can use to fool the office into thinking you’re a parent. You get a picture of your child (you can pick the gender and ethnicity) and a hand-drawn picture of your family. There’s also a metal lunchbox full of excuses you can use when you want a little time off. The basic kit is $20, but you can get extras like a photoshopped picture of your child’s sports team and more artwork for a bit more cash. A word to the wise, don’t get caught. The people that actually do have kids will never let you live it down.

[ The Office Kid ] VIA [ CrunchGear ]

As a prolific user of sticky notes at home and work I rather like this Memo Block created by Kakuzai. It’s an overly generous stack of sticky notes that features a wood texture printed on all the exterior sides so that it essentially looks like a block of wood sitting on your desk. The downside? That wood texture won’t stand out as much as the traditional yellow sticky notes do, and could even get lost if your desk happens to have a wood finish on top. Pricing and availability? Dunno and dunno.

[ Kakuzai Memo Block ] VIA [ designvagabond ]