The Infinity Aquarium, subtitled “swimming around in circles,” was designed by BCXSY Design Studio to create “a visual metaphor to life in the fish bowl.” If that’s what life is like, I don’t feel so bad about being totally lost most of the time. I’m not well versed enough in hyperspatial pandimensional neogeometry to even hazard a guess as to what shape this in fact is, and to be completely honest, I can’t even tell from the pictures where all the sides and corners are. But forget about me, what about the fish? It must be like they’re permanently entrapped in an endless series of incomprehensible rooms, corridors, and dead ends… Kinda like this movie. Except more twisted, and less deadly. Poor fishies.
Poor goldfish. Nobody really respects their intelligence. They get kept in tiny little aquariums, fed occasionally, and otherwise ignored. But, they’re capable of so much more, as this video shows. Three second memory? Think again. With the R2 Fish School, you can use simple operant conditioning and positive reinforcement to train your fish to perform tricks, including basketball, football, soccer, slalom, limbo, and other amazing feats. Prepare to be astounded:
Remember, the R2 Fish School isn’t just about making your life more exciting… It makes your little fishy friend’s life more exciting too. It’s $30 from Amazon.
Before all you fish people get really upset, this is a render of a concept of a prototype of a fish tank made out of a recycled light bulb, designed by deviantART user mceric. It’s called Aqua Bulb, and provides a pre-built glass house for a few little fishies who appreciate snug quarters. While it’s a cool looking concept, I’m not sure how you’d go about feeding the poor fish once you get them in there, and it does occur to me to ask what potential health hazards could be caused by that burnt out tungsten filament.
Goldfish are damn fast. According to the internet, they top out at something like 4mph, which is kind of adorable. But in conventional tanks, you never get to see them unleash themselves thanks to a plexiglass wall that’s never far enough away. The SpeedFish racetrack provides an uninterrupted sequence of straights and curves for your fishies to pit their swimming skills against in crazy nonstop fish-on-fish action with total disregard for safety precautions, water filters, or aquatic plants. It’s only a concept for now, though, so you’ll have to go back to watching cars do this instead.