By David Ponce

It’s as cold as a witch’s tit round these parts and extremities tend to suffer the most. Enter the heated gloves, which should make scraping ice off your windshield in the glacial weather just a little less painful. They’re powered by Lithium-Ion batteries and have 4 temperature settings. The lining is from 3M and there’s leather in the palm for grip and comfort. Water proof yet breathable, these gloves will cost a pretty penny: $159, thankfully reduced from $199.

[ Product Page ] VIA [ RedFerret Journal ]

By David Ponce

So… this exists. It’s a suit. And a pyjama. It… is this like a men’s version of a maid’s outfit? Like… is that what’s going on here? I hear some women like men in suits, so, uh… I mean, why else?

There’s no price or availability at the moment, but these have been sold in the past. It might just be a temporary stock interruption. I just thought it was interesting to know that this, like I said, even existed…

[ Product Page ] VIA [ LikeCool ]

By David Ponce

The cold is upon us but that doesn’t stop us from drinking. Up here in Canada, we like to go outside with beer in hand now and then so what better way to stave off frostbite than with the Scandinavian Skuuzie, a purpose made beer holder/mitten hybrid.

$29.

[ Product Page ] VIA [ LikeCool ]

By David Ponce

Why?

Just why on earth has this been created? They’re “100% cotton lounge pants [that] have an elastic waist with drawstring and side seam pockets.” Otherwise known as PJs. But they’re just awful. Why do they need to have these designs printed on them? Worst of all, why does the one on the right have to have that “boxers showing” look? Yeah… those boxers are painted on! Would anyone ever hope to get laid in one of these?

My eyes hurt.

It’s got to be a joke, but the $13 price seems to be real…

[ ] VIA [ Geekologie ]

By David Ponce

It’s a fully functional drum set in a T-Shirt, which comes with its own powered mini amplifier that clips to your belt and “goes up to 11.” Better yet, there’s a looping functionality with unlimited tracks and loops that can last up to 3 minutes. With 9 synthesized sounds like “Rock drums”, “Discotek” and “Scratchy”, you’ll be tapping your chest like a lunatic while laying down some rhymes in no time. Don’t believe us, check out the below video.

The shirt is washable as the electronics are removable and the best part is the price: $29. It’s currently out of stock but will be ready to ship on the 10th. That’s tomorrow, folks.

[ Product Page ]

By David Ponce

Bitchin’ motor runnin’, head out on the intergalactic highway…

Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there while humming my cleverly modified Steppenwolf song that I’m awkwardly using to segue into a description of this motorcycle suit that’s shaped like a Stormtrooper outfit. It’s made from grade-A cowhide and has the following features:

- Incredible attention to detail, featuring form molded details like never before.
- Raised rib detailing on the sleeves, shoulders, legs, torso and midsection perfectly replicating the look of rigid armor.
- Adjustable forearms, biceps, thighs and shin leather armor allow for a personalized ‘custom’ body fit.
- Waist belt is part of the jacket and not removable. Cleverly hidden is the main front zipper which has 3 main access points providing function, while allowing the main torso armor to be uncompromised and true to what was seen on screen.
- Snap buttons on the cuffs and wrist zippers.
- Jacket and Pants zip together at the waist essentially converting this to a one-piece body suit.
- Removable quilted cotton lining.
- CE-approved body armor in the shoulders, forearms/elbow, back spine protector, thighs and knee/shin armor is standard for riders but is easily removed for day-to-day wear.

Sounds like some serious suit right there, and there’s a serious price to match: $1,165 CDN for the whole set, although you can buy it in separate parts. Like, the books cost $150. But let’s face it, you’d look pretty stupid wearing only part of a Stormtrooper biking suit. You’ll still look weird wearing the whole thing, but no one gives a damn because, well, Star Wars is what.

Sales close January 31st, 2012 with delivery in Q2 of that year. The essential helmets, however… don’t appear to be sold with this.

[ Product Page ]

By David Ponce

Get it?… Never mind.

While we wouldn’t recommend wearing these for a trip to airport security, pretty much any other occasion can be enlivened by wearing cufflinks that are also tiny functional knifes. Measuring 7/8 in. closed, the blade itself is 9/16 in. in length and features a little notch to open them. They’re perfect for opening letters, boxes and stabbing people once you get into a drunken fight over whether Chuck Norris could take on Kimbo Slice, blindfolded (he could). The company even thought of including a tiny diamond dust sharpener so you can do it all over again as soon as you get out of jail.

They’re $55.

[ Product Page ] VIA [ DVice ]

By David Ponce

Someone points a gun at your face and tells you to empty your pockets. If you’re wearing these babies, you’ve got no problem. Well, you still have the gun-in-face problem, but assuming your assailant can be satisfied with chewing gum wrapper and old receipts and will simply walk away, miffed… you’ve got no problem!

Although you do still have a bit of an issue, which is that as practical as this underwear is, it’s also expensive at $30. Still, could be a good travel accessory for safekeeping passport and cash stash. Comes in 4 colors (blue, black, grey, green) and 4 sizes.

[ Product Page ]

By David Ponce

And these badass caped socks for your caped costume are out of stock. Sad. Still, how hard can it be to convince grandma to sew on a couple of these to your knee-high Superman socks? These are Robin’s (of Batman fame) socks on the picture, but… you’re going to wear knee-high Superman socks, right? Like these below.

Right? Isn’t that what the cool kids are up to these days?

[ Product Page (based on the URL, these might be women's...) ] VIA [ Geekologie ]

By David Ponce

Combination toque and face mask, the Beadbeanies are meant to keep your head as well as your face warm. They do make you look somewhat terrorist-y, but at least they won’t make you look like you’re about to rob something, as the balaclava tends to. Perfect for skiing or scaring old ladies in the elevator, each one is lovingly hand made and sells for around $50.

[ The BeardBeanie ] VIA [ New Launches ]