By David Ponce

Bacon is the official food of men, geeks and anyone with tastebuds. And some sense. Bacon can do no harm; it can only end wars. Bacon transcends all preconceived notions of how it should be consumed and shows up in a never-ending assortment of foodstufs. Like milkshakes. Yes, bacon… in a milkshake. Just stringing these words together feels harmonious. Jack In The Box, you make humanity proud.

But if your mind is cloudy and you fail to see the brilliance, one reviewer “wouldn’t call it “revolting.” And that, my friends, is salesmanship at its finest.

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By David Ponce

You know you want it.

It’s $7.

There’s 5 left.

Hurry!

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By David Ponce

There are those flavor combinations in life that are just meant to be: peanut butter and jelly, or peanut butter and chocolate for example. Maple and bacon fit the bill even more perfectly, and when we found out about a collaboration between Rogue brewery and Portland’s Voodoo Doughnut to create Maple Bacon ale, we damn near had a stroke. Of joy. Can anyone think of a better breakfast? Cold, carbonated, maple-and-bacon-flavored liquid cereal?

Don’t agree, America? Sound, uh, unhealthy to you? Well, your pizza is a vegetable, so… yeah…

$13 for a 750ml bottle.

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By David Ponce

Bacon is a recurring theme around these parts: you got bacon lip balm, tactical canned bacon, bacon jam, bacon muffins… and now… now perhaps the strangest of them all, Bacon Lube, “the world’s first bacon-flavored personal lubricant and massage oil.” It’s water based and it is exactly what you think it is. A joke? Not so much.

Before you start giving meat-flavored massages, we have one small admission to make – baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool’s prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.

So who’s responsible for this highly anticipated creation actually coming to life? You are, that’s who.

Yeah so, go get horizontal bacon style, my friends. It’s $12 a bottle.

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By David Ponce

Any geek worth his salt must have a healthy appreciation for the god of foods. We certainly do, as we’ve written about Bacon-y creations over and over: bacon baby formula, bacon jam, bacon lip balm and even bacon floss. You can now add to that delicious list Bacon Muffins. They come in Bacon Blueberry and Bacon Pumpkin Spice flavors and are $22 for a 6 pack.

While browsing the order page… I noticed several other bacon pastries. I will now proceed to give them all my cash.

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By David Ponce

We love us bacon something rare. Doesn’t everyone? So what better than bacon jam? Bacon jam? Read on:

It is something we’ve been cooking up for a couple of years now on our trailers and for our burgers

…….we take a big bunch of really really good bacon, and render it down…add a bunch of spices..onions, etc..and let it simmer for about 6 hours…give it a quick puree, and blast chill it…and you have bacon jam..

It’s $12 per jar and it looks like they’ll ship just about anywhere. Link to gadgets? None, but it’s bacon so who the heck cares?

I just ordered three.

[ Product Page ] VIA [ Geekologie ]

By Chris Scott Barr

So lets say that you’re out on some covert operation in the wild, and you’re craving bacon. We’ll also assume that you’re in an area that’s devoid of pigs. Unfortunately without a freezer, or access to one, most people would be out of luck. But not you, you’re much more resourceful than that. You’ve got Tactical Bacon.

Yes my friend, the bacon that you know and love now comes in a convenient can that does not need to be refrigerated until opened. With a shelf life of over ten years, these are perfect for your underground bunker. You know, for the zombie uprising. $16 gets you 9 ounces of your favorite pork product.

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By David Ponce

Been married for a few years and the ole’ hubby doesn’t quite like to kiss you the way he did in your college years? Fear not, for bacon makes everything better. We mean that. And let me tell you that you’ll become some new kind of hot once you start wearing this here J&D’s Bacon Lip Balm, made from regular lip balm ingredients and the never ending goodness of bacon flavor.

Bacon.

$13 at Amazon for a pack of 4.

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