Oh! Gizmo

By Andrew Liszewski

Nothing is more jarring in the morning than that terrible buzzing sound emitted by the cheapest of cheap alarm clocks. So even though this Infallibly Polite Speaking Alarm Clock from Hammacher Schlemmer comes with a steep $99.95 price tag, it’s totally worth the cost since it plays one of 126 different wake-up messages in the calming voice of Reginald Jeeves, played by Stephen Fry in the series Jeeves and Wooster.

It’s almost impossible to wake up in a bad mood when you’ve been cajoled out of bed with phrases like “Excuse me sir, I’m so sorry to disturb you, but it appears to be morning… Very inconvenient, I agree… I believe it is the rotation of the Earth that is to blame, sir.” And if you still don’t feel like getting up, hitting the clock’s rosette acts like a snooze button which also triggers one of 10 additional replies including “Sir has a firm touch, but fair.” It’s like having your very own English butler, except that you’ll have to make your own breakfast once you’re up.

[ The Infallibly Polite Speaking Alarm Clock ]

By Andrew Liszewski

Tired of fumbling with the buttons on your alarm clock every morning? Well as you can see in the product shots, this alarm doesn’t actually have any buttons, and instead relies on a motion sensor for controlling its various functions. By simply waving your hand above the clock you can do everything from switch between the time, date and temperature to setting up a countdown timer and even programming the daily alarm. It can also apparently light up with 5 different colors, and is available from Homeloo in orange or green for just $8.

[ Magic Sensor LCD Clock ] VIA [ Coolest Gadgets ]

By Andrew Liszewski

Here’s an alarm clock for those who can’t wake up without some sort of successory-like inspirational message. The LED Light Marquee Messager (I guess that’s a real word now) uses a grid of 56 red LEDs to display the time, plus one of 4 personalized messages (up to 28 characters in length) that can be programmed using a hidden 12 button keypad.

You have the option of only displaying the time, only displaying one of your messages, or displaying both right after each other, and this bad boy is powered by 3 x AAA batteries. You can get it from ComputerGear.com for $39.99.

[ LED Light Marquee Messager Alarm Clock ] VIA [ The Red Ferret Journal ]

By Andrew Liszewski

There’s no shortage of novelty alarm clocks designed to force you out of bed in the morning, but I suspect if you were to build one yourself, you’d be less inclined to smash it to pieces when it’s time to wake up. So head on over to Instructables where you’ll find a tutorial by ‘dylan2106′ that cleverly adds a key lock to your alarm, forcing you to get out of bed and find where you blindly threw the key the night before, in order to turn it off.

As an added safety mechanism, the modified alarm clock also uses the 9V backup battery to activate and power a loud buzzer in the event the user tries to foil the alarm by unplugging it from the wall. As is usually the case you’ll need to know a bit about wiring, soldering and electronics to pull off the hack, and in the end it seems like an awful lot of work when you could simply wake up on time by just going to bed slightly earlier. But where’s the fun in that?

[ Instructables - Safety Alarm Clock ]

By Andrew Liszewski

This one’s for all the Top Gear fans out there. Just because the show might feature some of the most advanced and expensive sports cars on the planet apparently doesn’t mean the BBC is above licensing it out to crappy tie-in merchandise like this Stig Helmet Projection Alarm Clock.

Now making a clock look like the Stig isn’t all that difficult, you just need a white racing suit and a white helmet, but somehow the makers of this clock have managed to make it seem a bit more creepy than it needs to be. At least I wouldn’t be too comfortable waking up to this thing staring at me every morning.

The clock isn’t due for release until June, so specific details are a bit lacking right now, but with a price tag of just $26 from Play.com I’m not expecting much more than standard alarm clock features.

[ The Stig Helmet Projection Alarm Clock ] VIA [ Nerd Approved ]

By Andrew Liszewski

Given that I usually fall asleep every night with some random episode of The Simpsons playng on the telly, it seems only fitting that I should wake up to The Simpsons as well. But convincing Dan Castellaneta to come and quote Homer and Barney lines to me every morning hasn’t been easy, so I’ll just have to settle for this 3D talking alarm clock I guess. It comes with 4 Simpsons characters, which you can move to the ‘master position’ depending on who you want to hear, and every morning you’ll be awoken to one of 12 authentic phrases including;

Homer: “To alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.”
Moe: “Is there an I P Freely here? Hey everybody, I P Freely!!”
Barney: “Hey can I throw up in your bathroom? I’ll buy something…”
Duffman: “Duffman wants to party down with the man who sent in 10,000 duff labels!”

You’ll need to add 4 x AA batteries to the cost, but you can order the Moe’s Tavern talking alarm clock from Play.com for about $18.

[ The Simpsons: Moe's Tavern 3D Talking Alarm Clock ]

By Andrew Liszewski

While not officially billed under the Simon brand name, the 4 blue, red, green and yellow buttons on this Memory Game Alarm Clock don’t leave much to the imagination when it comes to what it’s trying to emulate. When the alarm sounds in the morning, you’ll need to correctly remember and reproduce the sequence of lights by pressing the 4 colored buttons in the correct order. Otherwise, the alarm will continue to sound until you’re awake enough to pop out the batteries. Pricing and availability is unknown.

[ UrbanTrend - Memory Game Alarm Clock ] VIA [ Coolest Gadgets ]

By Andrew Liszewski

It’s just over 13 hours into the new year where I’m at, and it seems as good a time as any to post our first ‘form over function’ alarm clock for 2009. The Time Tuner was created by Istanbul-based Antrepo Design Industry, and instead of using a traditional easy-to-read digital clock face, it features an analog style that looks like the horizontal tuner on an analog radio.

The individual numbers along the dial light-up to indicate the current hour, while an illuminated vertical red line slowly moves across the dial indicating the minute. With only about an inch of space between each hour number, using the vertical minute line to tell the exact time will take some approximation, and you’ll probably have to account for a give or take of about a couple of minutes. But that inconvenience aside, the Time Tuner would definitely look slick sitting on my bedside table… my bedside cardboard shipping box… on the floor next to my bed.

Pictured above is the ‘Pure Black’ model, but they’re also available in ‘Clean White’ and ‘Strong Metal’ finishes, and if you’re interested in purchasing one you’ll have to contact the Antrepo Design Industry via email since online ordering or pricing info is not available on their website. (In other words, be prepared to empty your wallet.)

[ Time Tuner ] VIA [ CrunchGear ]

By Andrew Liszewski

The iPod alarm clock market is pretty crowded these days, but once in a while you stumble across a design that manages to spice things up. Case in point, the iDesign SongView. Its most obvious and noticeable feature is a 1.3 inch scrolling pixel display around the base which rotates between the date and time as well as the current song, artist, playlist and album if you happen to be listening to a song from your iPod. This allows you to see what’s playing (or what time it is) even if you’re across the room.

The SongView (oh, now I get it!) comes with a remote for controlling the volume, skipping tracks as well as various alarm clock functions, and it also includes the necessary line out and line in jacks for connecting it to external speakers or hooking up a non-iPod MP3 player. And it’s currently available from Brookstone for $99.99.

[ iDesign SongView ] VIA [ Chip Chick ]