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Hidden Valley Releasing A 5-Liter Keg of Their Ranch



Just in time for the holidays, you can get your hands on this 5-liter (that’s 1.3 gallons for real people) keg of Hidden Valley ranch. Yes, it is real, and yes it is a crime against God awesome.

Now, you might be thinking that if Hidden Valley was to make an abomination like a 5-liter keg of ranch dressing, they should’ve done so in early summer. You know, try and get in on that BBQ action. But I say there’s no better time to take out the ranch keg then when the oven dings and grandma’s sugar cookies are done. Pass the cookies and milk my way!

Now I know what you’re thinking and don’t worry, the Hidden Valley 5-liter mini keg is stackable and has a special coating to sure your ranch doesn’t taste like a metal keg.

It’s available now for $50. I know what I want for Christmas!

Hidden Valley ] VIA [ Geekologie ]

Swearball Lets You Record Foul Language And Hurl It At People

Swearball is toy that lets you say a short message into it and throw it at people, once its lands, it’ll play back the message recorded to it. So one of you co-workers could burn the coffee, Ryan, obviously it was Ryan; then you take this ball and record a message into it like ‘Ryan, you [censored]. You’re such a [censored] [censored] for [censored] up the coffee again. I hope you [censored] [censored] [censored].’

Of course, you don’t have to get called into HR for using your new toy. You could always buy a Swearball and record messages of encouragement (and then hurl them at people). ‘Hey Jim, good job with those sales.’ or ‘Doing a super job Oscar!’ or ‘great work with those files Pam!’

Swearball is available for $20, not a bad [censored] deal.

Swearball ]

Joel Osteen Impersonator Crashes Event Causing Subtle Havoc

We’ve all seen videos of celebrity impersonators going around city streets and causing a bit of chaos as fans crowd around trying to get their autograph/picture, but this one’s a little different. When Comedian Michael Klimkowski, who looks quite a bit like mega church pastor Joel Osteen, deciding to impersonate the celebrity, he did so at one of Osteen’s massive events and managed to trick staff into letting roam around freely.

He tricks everyone from fans, to staff and even the event’s security, and he manages to get to the actual stage of the massive arena. He ends up being caught, but technically he didn’t commit any crimes. Later, even the real police thought the whole thing was funny.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Why Tech Wednesday: This Pickle Rick Gold Pendant is a Crime Against Humanity

Look, I enjoy Rick and Morty as much as the next guy (as long as that next guy isn’t stabbing a McDonald’s employee for some McNuggy sauce), but these memes have got to go. Watching Rick and Morty doesn’t make you genius, remember, it’s just a silly Back to the Future parody.

But now there is Pickle Rick Jewelry, yes now you can own your gold or silver pendant of your favorite mad scientist after being soaked in brine. What has the world come to?

First they screamed “Wubba-Lubba Dub Dub!” and I did not speak out,  for I thought it was kinda funny.

Then they shouted “Get Shwifty!” and I did not speak out,  for I still thought it was kinda funny.

Finally, they screamed “I’m Pickle Rick!” and I cringed, but there was no left to speak for me.

Available for $39 from Midas Gold, just don’t tell I sent you or I’ll deny it.

Pickle Rick Pendant Necklace

Mr. Fusion Car Charger Looks Cool, But I Wanted Power Laces


Live out your childhood dreams of living in the far away tomorrow of 2015 with this Back to the Future Part II Mr. Fusion for charging you phone.

The charger easily slips into your car’s cup holder and has dual 2 amp USB charging ports and give you an extra 12v cigarette lighter. It’s powered with a 12v plug, so no need to throw your trash in it. Of course the trade-off is that it won’t be able to provide enough energy to power your flux capacitor, so for now, you’re still suck using good ol’ uranium to power your time-travel adventures.

Available from ThinkGeek for $40.  I mean I’d rather have Nike’s self lacing sneakers, but they only released a few hundred pairs, so they go for about $20,000 a pair. I guess I’ll just stick to my car charger for now.

ThinkGeek ]

Get Huge Savings on Anker Sports Earphones, Garmin Vivosmart, and Rocketwave Smart Notebook

Garmin Vivosmart 3

Serious about your fitness journey? This Garmin Vivosmart 3 is serious in helping you too. It’s the thinnest activity tracker that’s capable of measuring your heart rate and monitoring your stress levels. It’s perfect for a thorough training as it lets you see periods of elevated stress and restful recovery. It will even count the reps, count sets, and rest times for you. Get it for less than $100 today.

Anker SoundBuds 4.1

Meanwhile, the Anker SoundBuds 4.1 will keep you entertained and more pumped up during your workouts. These Sports earphones provide superior sound quality with aptX HD music and CVC noise cancellation technology. They’re water-resistant and comfortable to wear. Get it at 63% off today.

Rocketbook Wave Smart Notebook

Ever heard of a smart notebook? One that you can microwave to erase the writings on the page and re-use it? This is the Rocketbook Wave Smart Notebook and it’s a first of its kind. Once you have written your notes on it, you can forward it to the cloud–G Docs, iCloud, Evernote, or your email. Yup, it’s the modern notebook that will last you all year round. It’s 21% cheaper today.


Disappointed With The iPhone X? Why Not Buy A $1,000 Tin Can

Remember Tiffany? No, not that stuck-up girl from high school who had rich parents that bought her a new Porsche after turning 16. I’m talking about the jewelry company that your grandma used to talk about 30 years ago. Well, apparently someone told them that Supreme is able to slap their name on a plain t-shirt and watch it sell for hundreds of dollars, because now they’re selling a tin can for $1,000.

Oh, but don’t worry this isn’t an ordinary tin can. This one is made of silver and Vermeil, which is apparently gold coated in silver. So, it’s made with gold, but still looks a regular aluminum tin can, genius.

Look people, we have to agree right now not to tell other companies about Supreme. Before you know it, we’ll have the GAP selling overalls at $199, Homegoods will sell an X-shaped mirror for $649 and Sketchers will start selling their sneakers exclusively in Manhattan, starting at $1,999 a pair.

Gizmodo ]

Mooz Transformable Metallic 3D Printer

Do more with less space with the Mooz Transformable Metallic 3D Printer. Build with industrial grade parts, it’s an exremely accurate consumer 3D printer. In fact, it’s precise down to 0.02mm. Mooz allows you to easily switch between CNC carving, laser engraving, and 3D printing with its interchangeable modules. Plus, the drag and drop software makes it easy to use no matter your experience level.

[ Learn More About Mooz 3D Printer ]

Candle That Melts Like Eleven’s Nosebleed From Stranger Things

Stranger Things is an awesome show, and if you haven’t seen it, you should fix that. If you don’t have Netflix, then I just don’t understand why you’re even on the internet. If you have seen the show, you know that whenever Eleven uses her psychic power she bleeds from the nose.

What can be more fitting to set the mood to watch Stranger Things season 2 than a candle holder that leaks red wax from the nose? Well, okay you probably binged season 2 the night it came out, but what could be fitting as you anxiously wait 365 days for season 3?

The holder, made by Firebox, comes with two red candle sticks and a handy ‘nose picker’ tool to clear any boogers that Eleven might end up with.

The holder is available for pre-order for $39 though Firebox, but should arrive before X-Mas. I can’t think of anything more festive.

[ Firebox ]