If your roommates are so anal about getting their exact share of pizza, and not a sliver less, then we suggest getting new roommates. If that’s not an option, maybe splurge on this Tactical Laser Guided Pizza Cutter? It features, well, a laser right above the cutting wheel, which might help you cut in a straight line if you’re sober enough. Aside from that, it’s just a frikkin’ pizza cutter, boys. It’s $30.
Oh, and no, we don’t think you need to wear a tactical vest to cut your darn pizza. But you can if that’s what floats your goat.