By David Ponce
First of all, we’re wondering why anyone would be eating fruit… We’re almost convinced that fruits’ supposed health benefits are nothing but a bunch of lies told to us by some farmer’s lobby group. Plus, fruit are manipulative: their supposed delicious taste is nothing but an effort to get us to help them copulate! But… there’s no arguing taste and it turns out lots of people have brainwashed themselves into loving them. You could always keep them around in the above Stretchy Bowl. It’s a foldable metal base with an elastic fabric that stretches over it. As you add fruit to the bowl, it gets deeper and deeper. If you decide you’ve had enough of these fruity shenanigans, fold it all away and out of sight.