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Timmy’s Great Balls Of Fire Will Have Yours Receding Back Into Your Abdomen

By David Ponce

We have this Irish bar in town where they serve chicken wings covered in a sauce made from the Ghost Pepper, also known as the Bhut Jolokia. It’s the world’s hottest, so when you order these, you have to sign a waiver saying that you won’t, like, sue the place if something goes wrong. Really. So my friend tried them and within the first bite was running to the washroom in shock, where a waiter was already waiting with lots of milk. Once the pain died down a couple minutes later, he apologized for his reaction, at which point he was informed that he shouldn’t worry. Not only was this very normal, but many people actually vomit right at the table within the first bite. So, my friend’s reaction wasn’t that bad.

Keep this little anecdote in mind when you order Timmy’s Great Balls Of Fire. There’s Ghost Pepper powder inside. And they’re also coated with it. They are rated at over 1 million Scoville units. To put things in perspective, a Tabasco pepper (used in the sauce of the same name) rates around 30,000 to 50,000 Scoville units. And police grade perpperspray starts around 2 million, so these candies are getting close.

It’s $8 for 30 of them. Have fun. Carefully.

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