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Behold The Machete For Grown-Ups

By David Ponce

The marketing department has gone and given the Gerber Gator Pro a zombie apocalypse angle. Yes, we suppose it could separate a zombie’s head from its body in a hurry. But when was the last time you were in a zombie apocalypse? Please. What we really have to worry about is a hipster invasion and I hear New York City is turning into ground zero. But we won’t seriously get on the record condoning any kind of violence. No, really, we aren’t, that’s just sick. What we’re saying is that instead of thinking about killing zombies, the Gerber Gator Pro is pretty badass for any survivalist, woodsy type of folk. It has a multi-purpose blade that can act as an axe, a machete or a knife and might, just might have kept you a little safer if you were in the woods in Ohio recently (wild animals escaped, if you don’t know). It has a rubber grip, weighs 18 ounces and costs $53.

We want one.

[ Gerber Gator Pro ] VIA [ Uncrate ]








  • [PHD]Earthworm

    +1 Walking Dead Post

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, the black panther was sighted about a quarter mile from my house north of Dayton… Maybe I need to get on of these…

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, the black panther was sighted about a quarter mile from my house north of Dayton… Maybe I need to get on of these…

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, the black panther was sighted about a quarter mile from my house north of Dayton… Maybe I need to get on of these…

  • Anonymous

    That’s some scary stuff, man.  Sad they had to put it down though.

  • Anonymous

    Hey I tried to respond with a link to the different story I was talking about, and it said it needed to get approved first, but it obviously hasn’t showed up yet.  Hermph?