By Andrew Liszewski
Forget Zest or Irish Spring, if you really want to feel refreshed and invigorated in the morning you’ve got to scrub up with a chunk of Uranium 238! Ok, so it’s not actually Uranium, and is in fact real soap that’s even vegan friendly, so it probably won’t kill you by noon. But it does glow! And I’m sorry Dove, but this is one time when I hope it does leave soap residue behind so that when the sun goes down my skin will literally glow as well. $6.99 from Perpetual Kid.