By Andrew Liszewski
I’m not looking to fuel the debate over whether or not high-end AV cables are as effective as claimed or just snake oil, but I can’t see the sum of the parts going into these AudioQuest cables adding up to a price tag of well over $8,000. Even if they’re made of “Solid PSS Silver” and feature “Dual Star-Quad Geometry.” But if stuff like this didn’t exist, we wouldn’t be blessed with comments from satisfied users on Amazon like this one from Valannin “Pantheon Outcast”:
If there is one cable I would whole-heartedly trust to my Chimera-hunting needs, this would be the cable. No other cable has the tensile strength to properly and efficiently garrote a lycanthrope, asphyxiate an Esquilax or even gag a mermaid. Last week, using my trusty AudioQuest K2 (retrofitted with lead weights, bright orange latex paint and a generous coating of crushed glass stolen from the window of an abandoned church at midnight), I managed to snuff 3 golden unicorns in swift succession!
Pros: Quickly tears through scales, fur, bone, and adamantium with ease
Coils and uncoils from hip holster (optional) quickly and quietly
For a product fabricated from 1,000 Onyx Dragon fetuses, the price is unbelievably reasonable!
Cons: Shipping from the R’lyeh took far too long
Doesn’t come in 10′ lengths (which would be perfect for hydra, cerberii and other multi-headed creatures)
After every use, I can feel 6 ounces of my soul slipping from my core into the ether. But this may be due to the fact that I prefer to work without gloves. YMMV.
Overall, I would recommend that any hunter buy one, nay, two, of these immediately, and experience the difference that upgrading to the K2 will make in your next quest!
Update: It looks like Amazon has put these cables on sale for just $6,800, so at that price I’d recommend buying two sets which will save you $3,300 in the long run.