By Andrew Liszewski
Thanks to a fake but convincing package design, Bacon Baby, which is supposedly bacon flavored instant baby formula, looks like you just might find it on supermarket shelves next to that boring flavored Gerber stuff. In fact, were it not for the outlandish claims on the J&D’s website, I’d probably try and order some for myself. I mean the great taste of bacon without all that exhausting chewing? It’s win win!
The results were absolutely impressive. By the age of 4 months, our test subject started to exhibit some amazing abilities including walking and talking. By 6 months of age, she could read and memorize her early stage children’s books and showed an extreme level of coordination and balance – so much so that she was enrolled in gymnastics and ballet with children 5 years older than she was! At two years old, she read her first 300 page book, memorized the Declaration of Independence and (this is absolutely true) began composing her first symphony.
Even though I’m sure this was an April Fool’s Day prank of some sort, I think we can all agree that bacon, which for some reason still isn’t considered its own food group, is just the thing a growing newborn needs. So here’s to hoping that J&D, aka Justin and Dave, come to their senses and try and find a way to make this product a reality. It happened with ThinkGeek’s Tauntaun sleeping bag, and that doesn’t even smell like bacon!