By Evan Ackerman
Wallets are for storing your cash and credit cards and USB keys and stuff, and such a simple and straightforward use implies a simple and straightforward design. Apparently, some of you have expressed enough of a desire to also use your wallet for other things, like, I don’t know, killing people, that TMT Wallets felt that they could introduce a “tactical wallet” that would be commercially viable.
The TMT Tactical wallet assumes that if you buy it, you are professional super spy who is likely to be captured by the enemy on one of your top secret missions. Therefore, it has been specifically designed to assist you in the following scenarios: enduring water torture (o-rings make it waterproof), keeping your secrets secret (it has two hidden compartments and is impervious to RFID), beating your guards senseless (it’s made of 6061-T6 aluminum), breaking out of prison (it has a carbide glass breaking point), removing shards of broken glass from your flesh (it has tweezers), finding your way back to the good guys (it has a compass), and then enjoying a nice meal when you get home (it’s got a toothpick). Oh, and if course it has a built-in pen that you can use to write a screenplay about your adventures. When you consider all of these advantages, who cares that it’s gigantic and heavy and uncomfortable and $125? As a professional super spy, you need one.