By Evan Ackerman
S’mores: they’re the most efficient way of getting chocolate and marshmallow and graham crackers into your mouth. And I’m all for efficiency (and chocolate and marshmallows and graham crackers). The issue with s’mores, though, is that making them relies on obsolete technology: fire. And fire is obsolete for a reason… I mean, who really wants to be outside, where it rains, next to a fire that makes you too hot on one side and too cold on the other and leaves everything smelling like smoke and risks getting out of control and incinerating you and all your friends and burning down the forest and contributing to global warming and making baby seals cry? Is your s’more really worth that? The tears of baby seals? Of COURSE not. Plus, there’s like mosquitoes and stuff. I mean, come on. We’ve made progress, people. We’re indoors now and we’ve got microwaves.
The Micro S’mores machine uses “core fusion technology” (which I think is the same stuff that they use in quantum computers and the large hadron collider) to not only keep your s’more components properly positioned in the microwave, but also provide enough downward pressure to ensure that everything sticks together and melts evenly, all in just ten seconds:
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “core fusion technology? I can’t possibly afford that!” But don’t worry, in a noble gesture of goodwill towards humanity Micro S’mores have been made available for only $20 for a set of two. Order them here.