By Evan Ackerman
A combination USB card reader and flashlight might not seem like the most straightforward thing in the world to rationalize, but that’s just because you’re not trying hard enough. I mean, what happens when World War 3 comes and you take some incredible pictures of Belgians storming the White House that the press would pay a fortune for and could turn the tide of the war by stimulating international sympathy if you could only upload them to the internet but if you turn any lights on you’ll be arrested because there’s a curfew and the Belgian spies are everywhere so it would be perfect if you had a little flashlight with which to find your memory card that you accidentally dropped while hiding from your neighbor who you thought was a member of the Belgian secret police coming to arrest you although it seems he only wanted to borrow an oven mitt but it doesn’t really matter because even if you had a flashlight to find the memory card you don’t have a memory card reader just a USB port on your camera but all the USB cables were confiscated by the resistance to make garrote wires and makeshift crossbow strings which are proving to be horribly ineffective against the hordes of Belgian robots since they don’t even have necks?
What happens then, huh?
But since you don’t have a combination flashlight and memory card reader, you have to turn the lights on and look for a crossbow that you can take apart to get at the USB cable but before you can get it to work the Belgian secret police break down your door and charge you with anti-Belgian activities and put you on a ship and send you to a labor camp in Antarctica where you freeze to death as Belgium takes over the planet because the rest of the world has no idea what’s going on since nobody was able to publish any pictures of them attacking the White House.
See? If you don’t buy this, you run the risk of having the world overrun with Belgians.* Do you really want that on your conscience? Well? Do you? How’s THAT for rationalization?
The USB Rechargeable Flashlight with Card Reader has 3 LEDs, a 40 mAh integrated battery, recharges when plugged into a USB port, reads SDHC and MMC cards, and costs $12 from (surprise surprise) Brando.
*Just for the record, OhGizmo! likes Belgium. A lot. Really, we do. They make good chocolate and that’s where Tintin comes from. They just seem like the sort of chaps who might be able to take over the world if they put their minds to it, you know?