By Evan Ackerman
Every night, farmer Bob tried to chase down those stupid little gray aliens with the big black eyes who were stealing his cows. And every day, farmer Bob’s friends would call him crazy. Until, that is, they saw the footage from his video recording flashlight with infrared LEDs. Knowing that aliens have deceptively poor eyesight, farmer Bob was able to sneak up to within 13 feet of them and use the 17 infrared LEDs on the flashlight to covertly illuminate the scene. Then, the integrated video camera captured the cownapping shenanigans in 640×480 video at 30 fps onto the 128 mb of internal memory, supplemented by a microSD card slot. Of course, it was easy for farmer Bob to find his way home later when he turned on the bright 3 watt white LED, and he could always look at the flashlight’s LCD screen to check on how much power was left in the 3 C batteries as well as the status of his recordings. All in all, farmer Bob was proud of his $399.95 investment, and it served him well, until one night, farmer Bob never came back.
So, let this be a lesson to you: if you go out stalking cow stealing aliens with a $400 infrared video recording flashlight, and your friends call you crazy, listen to them, ’cause man, you’re crazy.