By Evan Ackerman
Food chains are rather nasty things. We don’t like to think about it much, but you know all those cute little fuzzy wuzzy soft and cuddly animals like bunnies and gerbils? They exist primarily to get EATEN by bigger animals with NASTY SHARP POINTY TEETH. GRRRRRR!!! The sooner your kids learn that, the better they will be able to survive in the wild, so why not be pragmatic this holiday season and get them some Food Chain Friends.
Food Chain Friends come from a far away planet called Daro, which exists much like Earth did, some 200 million years ago. They come in sets of five, and cutely feast upon one another. For example, the Frokol eats the Vextie eats the Fergel eats the Skoodle eats the Zezzel, which gets by on Floober Tree Moss. Get it? No? Well, if you can fit one into the mouth of another, odds are it’s lower on the food chain and therefore lunch.
They’re friends. They eat each other. It’s a complicated relationship.™ Food Chain Friends come in two different sets, and are available for about $50 at FAO Schwartz among other places.