By Andrew Liszewski
As someone who speaks fluent Simpsons, when I first saw this Home Swimmer device I immediately thought of the episode where Bart is forced to join ballet after missing out on signing up for all of the popular sports, including ‘T.S.’
Skinner: [over PA] Attention, students. It’s time once again to choose a gym class for the coming term so let’s all prove how adult we can be by filing to the gym in a calm and orderly manner…even though it’s first come, first serve, and the most popular sports fill up fast.
[A mass hysteria takes over as everyone rushes to the gym]
Willy: [getting trampled] Aah! Too many wee ones.
Richard: This gets uglier every year! Any sign of Bart and Milhouse?
Lewis: No…and if they don’t get here soon, it’ll be T.S. for them.
Ralph: [at “tethered swimming”] I don’t feel right.
And I can’t say for sure if the Home Swimmer was inspired by the sight of Ralph thrashing around in the Springfield Elementary pool while tethered to the edge, but deep down I’d like to think it was. Basically it’s another take on the ‘endless pool’ concept which allows you to swim for hours without ever hitting the edge and having to stop to turn around. While it might seem a little embarrassing to use in public, for home use it’s cheaper than installing an actual endless pool which uses a constantly running current of water to keep you stationary, and considerably cheaper than installing an Olympic sized pool in your backyard. The Home Swimmer system comes with all of the poles, straps and connectors you’ll need in addition to the belt that keeps you in place, and is available from the company’s website for $89.99.