By Andrew Liszewski
Business has probably been a bit slow for the nuclear fallout and bomb shelter industries ever since the Cold War ended, but in recent years I’m sure things have picked up thanks to a resurgence in paranoia. And that paranoia might also explain why someone would be willing to trust their family’s lives to a $1,500 fallout shelter that’s made from 10-gauge cold-rolled steel. It’s just large enough to accommodate an average-sized American family (46 inches in diameter and 12-feet long) with enough water to survive for a couple of days. Now I know you’re probably skeptical about the whole idea, so let this encouraging piece of PR from the company’s website reassure you.
This shelter would afford fairly good nuclear protection for a cost of about $150 per person. The shelter stay would be very unpleasant, but the occupants would probably survive. It is not at all comparable to a proper civil defense shelter, but it could save the lives of many Americans in a nuclear emergency.
Is someone really going to settle for ‘fairly good nuclear protection’? It’s like they’re comparing radioactive fallout to a chilly breeze, and as long as you block most of it, you should be relatively comfortable. It reminds me of that $15 bullet-proof vest I bought from a guy in a trench coat who assured me it provided fairly good protection from bullets. “You know, one or two might slip through, but it’s a good deal.” Anyways, if movies have taught me anything, the safest place to be if you happen to find yourself at ground zero of a nuclear blast is inside a circa-1950’s refrigerator. If it worked for Dr. Jones, I’m sure it would work for me.