[ Oh my, it’s like 2004 all over again! -Ed. ]
By Ryan Nill
The Banana Guard guards your bananas. This wonderful appliance will protect and shield your bananas from the outside world, encasing your soft, succulent, potassium rich foodstuff from the dangerous world of backpacks and sandwiches. It cheap, easy to use, vaguely phallic, available in a wide variety of colors, and undoubtedly useful. They cost 6$ and can be ordered in bulk.