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The Worst of Tech: 10 From the Cult of iPod


By Elliot Black

Inspired by the recent arrival of the Nike Hatphone and Thinklab’s iPod Nano stethoscope recording kit I went on a quest to find the Worst of iPod. I won’t waste any time with a qualitative dissertation about the merits of iPod because that’s pretty dull. (This is where everyone screams in unison, “We want carnage; we want the Worst of iPod!”)

Yeah, it’s not the first Worst iPod Accessories list, but this is our version, which includes some new arrivals, and a few classics.

The Worst of iPod after the jump?

10. The iCarta Dock And Toilet Paper Dispenser
Last year, much attention was given to the iCarta, an iPod dock and toilet paper dispenser in one. If bringing your iPod to the bowl sounds like your kind of party, buy the damn thing. The bar has been set.

9 iPod Compatible Nike Accessories
Nike plans on releasing three hybrid watch and wireless remote control accessories for Nike + iPod Sport Kit-equipped iPod nanos in the near future. The Flight + is a digital watch with wireless remote controls. The Amp + is a stripped down version, looking more like a Livestrong bracelet than a watch. The Aero + appears as if it will be targeted at men, as a larger and more rugged version of the Flight +. While there is no pricing or projected date information available for the Aero +; the Amp + and Flight + are slated for a May release, and will cost $79 and $129 respectively. The reason I have chosen these three for the #9 spot is simple: the iPod brand has pushed design into the spotlight, and these products seem to scoff at the brand’s consistency and simplicity, while favoring oddball colors instead. Ok fine, I’m really talking about fashion, and these just don?t do it.

8. The Tunebuckle
XSpeaking of fashion, why don’t you pick up an iPod belt from TuneBuckle. This isn’t the shiny white belt with the silver apple buckle you have pictured in your mind. It is, however, a belt for carrying the iPod with you, even if you lost all the rest of your clothes in a game of strip poker. It doesn’t look half bad, but it sure seems like bragging to me. TuneBuckles only fit the Nano, which is a good thing.

7. Lip Syncing, Dancing iPod Barbie
Barbie and her friend Theresa want to party with iPod too! Apparently children’s toys are now speakers and visa versa. Just plug in your iPod (or any other audio device) and they will start to shake their hips and lip sync to your favorite songs. You can find both of these at Wal-mart for $30, but even a kid can rationalize that that money would be better spend at the gumball machines.

6.The iCar, Car Shaped iPod Dock
Corgi has announced the amazing EXOS i-Car Interactive Car, designed specifically for the iPod. I hope that you know someone who loves car-shaped iPod docks, because that’s what we have here. Features include interior lights that pulse with your music. It is expected to arrive in May, for $100. Do you think Barbie would ever drive a car that wasn’t pink?

5. All-In-One Mousepad
wireless speaker mousepad
Introducing an amazing functionality mash-up. (mousepad + speakers + calculator = a wireless speaker mousepad) Comfort House implores you to use it with any audio source, including iPod. However, it comes with an unsightly transmitter that seems larger than an iPod? which moves me to suggest getting something else. Keep your music out of your mouse pad, and keep your mouse pad in the closet.

4. The iPillow
If your iPod just isn’t providing that warmth and comfort that it did when you first opened it, then maybe it’s time for the iPillow to step in. Available in blue, white and pink, the iPillow is a 16-inch plush iPod with built-in speakers and working buttons. Just plug in your iPod (or any audio device) and feel the noise. Don’t have any other electronics? No worries, this pillow doubles as an FM radio too.

3. The iBuzz
If you are truly in love with iPod, then after a while you may want to ‘take it to the next level.’ The people at LoveHoney understand the passion that burns in your loins and they intend to do something about it. The iBuzz and iBuzz two are music-activated sex toys, which means that your experience with Barry White will be MUCH different than the time you have with Marilyn Manson. The iBuzz two comes with a cock-ring and a pink rabbit, both sans phthalates. Even so, I just don’t know how I feel about taking an iPod to bed? literally.

2. NeoTune Headphones
In second place we have a pair of NeoTune headphones. The good news is that RWC Corp Japan has figured out a way to eliminate the wires. The bad news is that in the wake of this small victory, much larger problems emerge. First of all, if you are ever caught in public wearing them, you risk being the subject of much harassment. If you ever wear them out of the house, you risk losing them. If you ever wear them at all, you risk neck pain. If you ever want to use those headphones for anything else besides a Nano, you are shit out of luck.

1. The Wired iPod Remote
And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for?The Princeton technology Corporation of Japan bring us the first wired remote for the iPod. You heard right, wired. Simply plug it into the iPod’s dock connector and you are set to explore the world with a $42 piece of gadgetry that will add approximately 32g to your load, while tethering you to the iPod, requiring you to carry that as well. The remote controls settings such as shuffle and repeat, and displays the track, artist and album names. Basically, if you have an iPod you don’t need this, and as far as I know this device is only compatible with the iPod. We have a winner.

Or did we miss anything good? Leave us your suggestions.


11 responses to “The Worst of Tech: 10 From the Cult of iPod”

  1. CortJstr says:

    Uh, my iPod came with a wired remote. Did they stop giving these away after 3G? What next, no charger, dock, or connector cable?

  2. dimonolog says:

    Those are really weird!! I remember I’ve seen something like an iBuzz at one of my friends. I asked her, what the heck was that, she said “Oh! That’s aaaaa….. eye massager.” I guess she enjoys the “eye-massager” a lot!!!

  3. gm0n3y says:

    My iPod also came with a wired remote. Its had a headphone jack so that it would fit in series between your headphones and ipod. Seems like a good idea to me.

  4. Mark says:

    The wired remote isn’t that much of a bad idea (maybe not at that price…) If you’ve got one of the larger video iPods, and you’re listening to music with it in your pocket, its a pain to pull the whole thing out to simply change a song. I wouldn’t want a wireless remote for that, because to be small enough not to overstuff your pockets, it would be too easy to loose.

  5. Ted says:

    Well, the only thing that they come with now is the dock connector cable. You have to buy everything else seperate. Including the charger! They have pretty much stripped it down to the bare essentials. I got a charger with my 4g iPod, but didnt with my updated 5g. I already had the stuff from the last one, so it wasnt a big deal.

  6. anonymousforumguy says:

    It’s bad enough that the ipods are 350 bucks each, but these add-on extras are just overpriced products, milking the already overhyped ipod to the enth degree. The ipod pillow? The ipod mousepad? The ipod barbie, belt or car? Who buys this crap?? People must be buying them cause they keep selling them….

    Spend 100 bucks less and get an mp3 player, that looks and feels better, weighs the same and has the same storage and features…..just not the brand name.

  7. Snake says:

    YOU might think that a wired remote is a “bad” idea…but I guess you just don’t need it…like I do – a MOTORCYCLIST.

    Finally, a remote control that can work an iPod (which is situated inside a tank bag or my inside jacket pocket) and playing through my helmet’s built-in speakers.

    Without a wired, FULL FUNCTION remote…you’re shit out of luck if you want to see what your iPod is doing or want to change a song while moving. The remote is far easier – and therefore, far safer – to use.

  8. JULIO says:

    that belt wasnt that bad it actually looks good not bad at all i might buy it

  9. therewasthisguy.. says:

    I don’t get the hype around iPod, iTunes is one of the most annoying programs ever made and the audio-quality is not really that good. There’s so many better mp3players out there than iPod. L8ter!

  10. ZhoRZh says:

    The absolutely worst iPod gadget is iPod itself!!!

  11. Sex Toys says:

    I love the way that ipod also inlcuded those sex toys such as a cock ring and rabbit vibrator. Ipod really make it possible to connected with any things that people will surely like.