By Elliot Black
Inspired by the recent arrival of the Nike Hatphone and Thinklab’s iPod Nano stethoscope recording kit I went on a quest to find the Worst of iPod. I won’t waste any time with a qualitative dissertation about the merits of iPod because that’s pretty dull. (This is where everyone screams in unison, “We want carnage; we want the Worst of iPod!”)
Yeah, it’s not the first Worst iPod Accessories list, but this is our version, which includes some new arrivals, and a few classics.
The Worst of iPod after the jump?
10. The iCarta Dock And Toilet Paper Dispenser
Last year, much attention was given to the iCarta, an iPod dock and toilet paper dispenser in one. If bringing your iPod to the bowl sounds like your kind of party, buy the damn thing. The bar has been set.
9 iPod Compatible Nike Accessories
Nike plans on releasing three hybrid watch and wireless remote control accessories for Nike + iPod Sport Kit-equipped iPod nanos in the near future. The Flight + is a digital watch with wireless remote controls. The Amp + is a stripped down version, looking more like a Livestrong bracelet than a watch. The Aero + appears as if it will be targeted at men, as a larger and more rugged version of the Flight +. While there is no pricing or projected date information available for the Aero +; the Amp + and Flight + are slated for a May release, and will cost $79 and $129 respectively. The reason I have chosen these three for the #9 spot is simple: the iPod brand has pushed design into the spotlight, and these products seem to scoff at the brand’s consistency and simplicity, while favoring oddball colors instead. Ok fine, I’m really talking about fashion, and these just don?t do it.
8. The Tunebuckle
XSpeaking of fashion, why don’t you pick up an iPod belt from TuneBuckle. This isn’t the shiny white belt with the silver apple buckle you have pictured in your mind. It is, however, a belt for carrying the iPod with you, even if you lost all the rest of your clothes in a game of strip poker. It doesn’t look half bad, but it sure seems like bragging to me. TuneBuckles only fit the Nano, which is a good thing.
7. Lip Syncing, Dancing iPod Barbie
Barbie and her friend Theresa want to party with iPod too! Apparently children’s toys are now speakers and visa versa. Just plug in your iPod (or any other audio device) and they will start to shake their hips and lip sync to your favorite songs. You can find both of these at Wal-mart for $30, but even a kid can rationalize that that money would be better spend at the gumball machines.
6.The iCar, Car Shaped iPod Dock
Corgi has announced the amazing EXOS i-Car Interactive Car, designed specifically for the iPod. I hope that you know someone who loves car-shaped iPod docks, because that’s what we have here. Features include interior lights that pulse with your music. It is expected to arrive in May, for $100. Do you think Barbie would ever drive a car that wasn’t pink?
5. All-In-One Mousepad
Introducing an amazing functionality mash-up. (mousepad + speakers + calculator = a wireless speaker mousepad) Comfort House implores you to use it with any audio source, including iPod. However, it comes with an unsightly transmitter that seems larger than an iPod? which moves me to suggest getting something else. Keep your music out of your mouse pad, and keep your mouse pad in the closet.
4. The iPillow
If your iPod just isn’t providing that warmth and comfort that it did when you first opened it, then maybe it’s time for the iPillow to step in. Available in blue, white and pink, the iPillow is a 16-inch plush iPod with built-in speakers and working buttons. Just plug in your iPod (or any audio device) and feel the noise. Don’t have any other electronics? No worries, this pillow doubles as an FM radio too.
3. The iBuzz
If you are truly in love with iPod, then after a while you may want to ‘take it to the next level.’ The people at LoveHoney understand the passion that burns in your loins and they intend to do something about it. The iBuzz and iBuzz two are music-activated sex toys, which means that your experience with Barry White will be MUCH different than the time you have with Marilyn Manson. The iBuzz two comes with a cock-ring and a pink rabbit, both sans phthalates. Even so, I just don’t know how I feel about taking an iPod to bed? literally.
2. NeoTune Headphones
In second place we have a pair of NeoTune headphones. The good news is that RWC Corp Japan has figured out a way to eliminate the wires. The bad news is that in the wake of this small victory, much larger problems emerge. First of all, if you are ever caught in public wearing them, you risk being the subject of much harassment. If you ever wear them out of the house, you risk losing them. If you ever wear them at all, you risk neck pain. If you ever want to use those headphones for anything else besides a Nano, you are shit out of luck.
1. The Wired iPod Remote
And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for?The Princeton technology Corporation of Japan bring us the first wired remote for the iPod. You heard right, wired. Simply plug it into the iPod’s dock connector and you are set to explore the world with a $42 piece of gadgetry that will add approximately 32g to your load, while tethering you to the iPod, requiring you to carry that as well. The remote controls settings such as shuffle and repeat, and displays the track, artist and album names. Basically, if you have an iPod you don’t need this, and as far as I know this device is only compatible with the iPod. We have a winner.
Or did we miss anything good? Leave us your suggestions.