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The Agitor, Integrated Beverage Agitator

By David Ponce

So, complete information on this next product is all spotty, like a delicious Swiss cheese, on the account of some craptacularly designed product page. It’s called the Agitor, by Tinkatec, and it will allegedly revolutionize the way you stir your next Starbucks hot chocolate, or whatnot.

Tinkatec owner Creighton Schlebach says the Agitor system, which safely and efficiently stirs the beverage through the application of finger pressure to the side or bottom of a sealed cup, ensures that consumers, whether walking, motoring or commuting by train, cannot be scalded or soiled by spilled coffee.

So, the way I understand this, is that it’s a little pump/sponge that recirculates your beverage upon you squeezing it.

I imagine this is supposed to be safer than your alternative: shaking boiling liquids in their container until you get scalded.

As far as I can tell, all this “technology” is still sitting comfortably in Creighton Schlebach’s mind (and on his, er, website), in the hopes of being picked up by some papercup manufacturer.

Check it out here. Story VIA SNP.