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The Diamond Crusted Mystery Player

By David Ponce

Money is the mother of all things. The giver of life and the silk-lined cradle that nurses us to happiness and comfort. It is the teat of privilege, and only with its creamy milk will you be able to find out anything useful about the The Presidential MP3 player by Douglas J.

This is what you’ll find out for free. It’s covered in gold (white or yellow) and crusted in diamonds. It’ll cost ya £25,000, aka $44,000.

If you want to know anything about the specs… well, that alone will cost you £50.

Or, you could ask your rich friend to buy it and tell you. And then tell us. And we’ll tell everyone and save us all the expense. And spend that on beer instead.

Sounds good?

Check out the website here. Story VIA Shiny Shiny.


One response to “The Diamond Crusted Mystery Player”

  1. the_inscrutable_chicken says:

    When you lose your money because the company has gone bust, you can go round to the guys house and beat him up. He lives here.