By David Ponce
Money is the mother of all things. The giver of life and the silk-lined cradle that nurses us to happiness and comfort. It is the teat of privilege, and only with its creamy milk will you be able to find out anything useful about the The Presidential MP3 player by Douglas J.
This is what you’ll find out for free. It’s covered in gold (white or yellow) and crusted in diamonds. It’ll cost ya £25,000, aka $44,000.
If you want to know anything about the specs… well, that alone will cost you £50.
Or, you could ask your rich friend to buy it and tell you. And then tell us. And we’ll tell everyone and save us all the expense. And spend that on beer instead.